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Other Writings
Essays
A Man Kicking a Rock Did
Not Invent Soccer: How notepad is history's greatest invention.
Auld Lang Syne: A satirical and
sarcastic review of high school sans names and the word teacher.
On Holidays: A response to the
question...why do you celebrate made-up holidays?
Drakeography: by Rico Suave. A
horribly biased character study of Robert Drake.
The Louisiana Affair: A highly
successful attempt at convincing a mother to let her child travel to Louisiana.
A Literary Critique of Harry Potter:
It turns out Harry Potter is an allegory for an apocalyptic end battle against
North Korea...or something like that. Non Sequiturs? NOPE
The Legend of the Jimjamboree: I fear I lack to words to describe the Jimjamboree. It is a nonsense piece in the vain of Jabberwocky I fear. They may be a few scattered riddles within, but I suspect the truth of the Jimjamboree is far more flippant.
Poems
Red X on My Hand: At a concert I was at the band members got a red x on their hand and everyone
else got a black x. The indignity of having a black x on my hand did not pass
without being mocked in rhyme. In case anyone thought otherwise, I only write
poems as a joke...mostly.
Weezer is the Devil: An acquaintance of
mine, a Weezer fan, wanted me to write a poem for him to read in an English
class. This would be that poem.
She Can't Walk, She Can't Even Run:
Another work that came out of driving in the desert. It's less poem and more
an extended joke.
I Am It: This is the one exception to the
joke poems. I woke up and found this scribbled next to me in my hand writing. I
actually don't remember writing it and I'm not exactly sure what I was thinking when I wrote it, but here it is.
Juggling Poems: Only at DRAKAS.Com!!!
The Sun and The Moon: This is a companion poem (1 of 2) to a work that has not been released for the site. It is written in groups of fourteen lines, but doesn't follow the standard sonnet form and instead uses something very similar to Terza Rima. Most curiously, most every line has nine syllables instead of the ten common to iambic pentameter.
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